So here goes. Yesterday was actually the first day of his deployment. A word of advice already, do not stay up all night the day before, take your husband to the airport at 3 a.m. and expect to stay clam and composed. I was practically balling in Sea-Tac Airport and then had to make the walk to my car sniffling the whole way. I arrived home and went to bed only to awaken 3 hours later. I had to complete some paperwork for my new job. I will be working at a small photo studio in the mall. After being jobless and out of college for over a year, I am thrilled to be doing something.
My new boss Nikki also happens to be a friend of mine and "a widower of two deployments" as she puts it. She gave me some great insights into the world of deployment, how I will be feeling and what to expect.
- The first two months are the hardest, so treat yourself to something nice about once a week. (i.e. bubble baths, mani-pedi's, anything relaxing)
- The last two months you will be scrambling to figure out what to do when he gets home because you will be so practiced in doing everything yourself.
- Do NOT watch the news, read the paper, or talk to people about current happenings there.
- Don't get mad at him because he is having a good time and you miss him.
There were many more, but I don't want to bore you with a long list. I'm sure they will come up in the coming months.
I will try to make a section in every post about Cody (my husband) and what is going on with him.
He was able to call me yesterday and today, he made it to Baltimore yesterday and got to walk around the town for most of today. I can already hear the excitement in his voice, and that he is having a great time.
I'm going to start by saying that it's no secret that I'm not the world's most emotional or compassionate person. The day that Adam left I took him to his squadron at around 3am, cried on the drive home and went to bed. Nobody expected me to be at work that day but when my alarm rang at the usual time I woke up, said, "well shit," and went to work. Having a full time job was the best thing that could have happened to me during his deployment and I'm so excited for you that you have that to focus on. My advice to you is much different than Nikki's but our husbands have much different jobs than hers. I don't want to say that it is any less dangerous than Ben's (although it probably is) but it will be very very different. The one truth for all deployments is that it will be completely different than anything you expect that it will be...for both of you. Yes, it is hard but it is something that we signed up for when we signed that marriage license. We knew full well what we were getting ourselves into. Knowing that ahead of time doesn't make it any easier, but it helps to lessen the blow a little. Like you said, deployment is a great time for you to find yourself. I learned so much when Adam was gone. The best thing that I learned about myself on our deployment was that even though I love him and I want him to be around me all the time, I don't NEED him and that is a wonderful feeling.
ReplyDeleteThanks Katie, I knew that you would have some great advice as well. I thought I would give this blogging a try because of you. You are a wonderful friend and I know you will help me through this rather emotional and interesting experience.
ReplyDeleteI think both Katie and Nikki said it very well. I'm so glad you found a job, it will be a wonderful distraction for you. When Randy first left, I would have gone out of my mind without my work responsibilities. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Whether you need to borrow a husband for handy work around the house, or you just need someone to go on a walk with. We may not be related by blood, but we are a military family. You don't have to face this alone.
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